The Value of Giving Someone Your Attention

I think we underestimate how much it means to someone when you genuinely give them your attention.

Not just being there while they are talking. Actually listening. It sounds simple, but it is surprisingly easy to get wrong.

We are all busy. There are emails coming in, messages waiting to be answered, meetings to get to and a long list of things that need doing. Even when we are talking to someone, part of our attention can be somewhere else and most people can tell.

You can see it in a conversation when someone is waiting for their turn to speak rather than listening to what is being said. You can hear it when someone gives an answer that doesn't quite fit the question. And you certainly notice when you have to explain the same thing twice because the other person wasn't really listening the first time. The same is true in customer experience.

Customers don't always expect us to have the answer immediately. They don't necessarily expect us to be able to fix everything on the spot but they do expect us to listen.

Sometimes a customer is telling us exactly what they need, but we are listening for something else. We are looking for the right category, the right process or the right answer rather than really understanding what they are trying to tell us and that can make an interaction feel strangely impersonal.

There is a difference between hearing someone's words and understanding what they mean.

A customer might say that a delivery was late, for example. The obvious response is to deal with the delivery.

But perhaps what they are really telling you is that they had made arrangements around that delivery. Perhaps they had taken time off work or they were relying on it for something important. The late delivery is the problem, but the inconvenience and frustration sit underneath it. Listening properly gives you a chance to understand that.

I know I am not always so good at this. Lots on, but I try and create dedicated time to speak to people and focus for that alloted time. I know people value this time and I know that I have created this slot to do this exact activity and nothing can take it away from me and the other person. Its about a balance, time to talk and time to do when necessary.

I think the same applies to employees. People don't always want an immediate solution when they raise something. Sometimes they just want to know that someone has taken the time to understand what they are saying.

That doesn't mean agreeing with everything. Listening isn't the same as saying yes. It means giving someone enough space to finish their thought. Asking a question because you are genuinely interested in the answer and not immediately jumping in with your own experience or preparing your response while they are still talking. Those small things can change a conversation.

There is also something reassuring about being listened to. It makes you feel that what you are saying matters, even if the outcome isn't exactly what you hoped for.

I think this is particularly important in customer experience because so much of our interaction with companies is becoming faster and more automated.

Technology can be incredibly useful: it can make things quicker and easier, and there are plenty of situations where customers would rather sort something out themselves. But when a customer does need to speak to someone, that human interaction matters. If I've waited to speak to someone and then feel like they are rushing me through the conversation, the fact that I eventually reached a person doesn't really improve the experience.

Sometimes the best customer service isn't about having the perfect answer, it is simply about making someone feel heard. And perhaps that is worth remembering in all of our conversations, not just the ones we have with customers: we don't always know what someone has been dealing with before they walked through the door, picked up the phone or joined the meeting.

Giving them our attention costs very little but it can make a much bigger difference than we realise. Sometimes, people aren't asking for more of our time. They are just asking us to be there for the time we are already giving them.